So, one of your closest friends has asked you to speak at their wedding! What a privilege, right?!

If you're like most people, you're already sweating at the thought of a your solo voice on the mic with a hundred pairs of eyes staring at you.

Well, fear not friend! I've filmed hundreds of toasts and compiled this list of all the things I've learned along the way. Follow these rules and you'll have the guests in tears and belly laughing in no time!

All images in this guide are provided by the very talented Beca C Photography.


#1 | The toast is not about you

We're just going to jump right in here. This is my first pointer because I see this happen the most often.

Let's be honest, no one is here to celebrate what great friends you are with the bride. I'm sure you have an incredibly significant friendship, but this day is about the bride and groom's relationship to each other.

Sure, let us all know how you guys became friends when you were in diapers, but keep the focus on the bride and the groom. You are one of the closest observers of their relationship--so give us the inside scoop on it!

Ideas to inspire thoughts and stories:

  • What are your favorite attributes about the bride/groom?

    • Think of specific stories that reflect this quality

  • When did you first hear your friend talk about their significant other?

    • What were your thoughts/feelings?

  • What were your thoughts when you first met their significant other?

  • When did you realize they were right for each other?

  • Why are they good for each other?

  • Why are you excited they are getting married?

  • What are your hopes for them as a married couple?



#2 | Stay away from inside jokes

Inside jokes are great, but public speaking isn't the time for it. Sure, the bride or groom will be cracking up, but you'll just hear crickets and get blank stares from everyone else.


#3 | Don't use jokes you found through Google

I might throw my camera across the room if I hear ONE more person tell the groom to put his hand on the bride's hand because it will be the last time he'll ever have the upper hand.

Okay, maybe that's a bit aggressive. But seriously, if you found it in a Google search, we've all probably heard it before.



#4 | Tell Jokes! But Make sure there is a punch line


Roasts are GREAT. There is nothing better than a good tease, especially between guys. Everyone's usually got a little wine in them and they are ready for a good laugh. So think of some stories!

But, the key to success is to make sure there is a punchline. Every joke should culminate to a point when the audience realizes "Ah, this is now the time to laugh at what was just said."

Unless you want to laugh alone, that is.



# 5 | GIRLS: this is not the time to make fun of the bride

This is just not classy. Sure your sister got a little crazy in Mexico and made some poor decisions in her college days--but now is not the time to bring up those wonderful memories. It just looks catty. And speaking of other guys…



#6| Don't bring up ex's

That's just awkward. For everyone.



 #7 |NEVER wing it

Always, always, plan what you will say.  Write it out, if not verbatim, then as bullet points. Practice till your comfortable. It will allow you to feel confident in the jokes, the delivery, and you might even *gasp* enjoy it!